Another Brick In The Wall

If you read my post about my life in 1962 then you’ve read that my family started with my teenage parents. My mom had turned 17 just two days before I was born, my dad at the time was 19; mom still had to finish her senior year in high school after the summer of my birth, my dad had graduated in May of 1962. As young kids still figuring out life they lived with my grandparents when I was born, that would be my dad’s parents. I could explain that initially my mom didn’t have intentions on marry my father nor on raising me. My mother was a straight A student, a National Honor Society student, supposedly with a scholarship to college. Do I believe she loved my father? I do believe she loved with the mindset of a 16 year old child, not that of an adult. She was idealistic as to who she was really marrying, and what was to truly be expected.

My father was another story.  This man originally had no intentions of marrying my mother, my mother was one a his girl friends, not the only girl friend. My father was what my kids call ‘a player’. He was a player to the extent that he actually had more than one class ring. In those days the having of a guy’s class ring meant the permanency of going study, that step before engagement. With that concept you would believe would be monogamy but not for my father, he saw it as opportunity. If a girl thought you cared enough to give her your class ring than he could probably get them to put out. Obviously it worked with my mother or I wouldn’t be here, concieved in the back of my grandfather’s car.

My folks were married with the blessing of a shotgun. It was my grandfather that drug his son up to the alter, or the justice of the peace ‘to do the right thing’. My father was forced to marry my mother, it was a case of the adults deciding what was best for these kids when they both made adult decisions to begin with. I truly feel the biggest mistake for everyone’s life was the choices made for these kids. My heart breaks when I think of the lives that ended up sacfriced in this case.

I’ll touch on more as I try to get through the years

I believe at one time I mentioned the Creative Junkie, how much I totally love her writing, the style in which she writes, she is descriptive and entertaining all wrapped into one nice blog! I find her comedy, her wanderings, and overall thoughts so incredibly enjoyable due to the fact we are so close in age, and that I find her thoughts and memories vaguely familiar and similar to mine. Oh don’t worry there are some very noticeable differences, like her 2^nd husband soul mate is Nate, where my 2^nd husband soul mate is Chuck; I find it interesting they are both techy type <read geek> guys, but her guy is IT where mine is Telecom. There is more similar differences, but let me get on with my meme that I found on her website. This meme is about our husbands so here are some thoughts about my techy type soul mate:

What is his name?

I noticed over at the Creative Junkie that her husband has a name that he really doesn’t use, but has a nickname taken from his God given birth-certified name. With that comes my husband’s name located on his birth certificate versus the name he goes by. Charles Lee is his given name, named after an uncle that died 3 months before his birth. His uncle was a man that fought in Vietnam, contacted cancer from Agent Orange, dying painfully on Christmas day. Like the uncle he was named after my husband doesn’t go by ‘Charles’ or ‘Charlie’ nope his nickname is ‘Chuck’. I always get into the small wanderings <or wonderings if one doesn’t get lost like I do> of the mind, where did anyone get the nickname ‘Chuck’ for Charles? Don’t you wonder about that, see the strange things I wonder about! So many people have nicknames from their real name, but not I, nope I am the name that resides on the white paper they call the birth certificate – well except for the last name that changed with marriage. I guess I had one person in my life that gave me a nickname, a play off my name, my grandfather, and he is the only one that ever called me by that nickname until the day he died.

How long have you been married?

Wow we have been married over 9 years; it will actually be 10 years in February! When I entered into this marriage all those years ago I wondered how long I would make it married, how long he would stay; all my old fears from the prior marriage still hanging on to me mentally. My first marriage lasted 9 years; I filed for divorced within approximately 3 weeks after our 9 year anniversary, deciding finally enough was enough. That marriage was 9 long years of tears, screaming, anger, and regret. This marriage has been 9 years of happiness, smiles, kisses, sharing, just everything I thought a marriage should be. This marriage is the difference of being in love with your soul mate, not settling on the issues in a person that counts. I plan on staying married to Chuck for many more years, I mean someone has to take care of him when get old, right!

How long did you date?

Now I have to share my secrets! I tell my girls how they should date 2 years; really get to know the person before they marry them. Somehow though my oldest thought that living with them is the same thing as dating; I have informed her differently in no uncertain terms, but since she is now 21 years old she listens to me not. I still haven’t understood what moral, future attributes she sees in a man that doesn’t want to work, has trouble with authority <his own words to me>, and considers the highlight of his day how many hours he can sleep <which he informed me is his favorite thing to do>. My 21 year old daughter though has been putting herself through college, is in her senior year, has worked at 2 different internships with corporations, has an after college job offer from one of those corporations, and is thinking about an internship in Europe. So what does she see in this guy she was living with, the word is was, thankfully he is off doing some soul searching, moving home with his father - now maybe she will come to her senses. Okay back to my relationship with my husband! I actually meet Chuck on the internet we spent time just passing IM’s and emails back and forth. He tells me he tried to contact me before our conversations really began, but I was always busy. Part of my lack of interest in him was his age at the time he was under 30 years old, which in my eyes made him still a baby. I was 35 years old, had set an age limit of 30 years old for all the younger men that kept bugging me < and yes I dated lots of those younger guys>. Because of our age difference I maintained an IM and email friendship for some time, at least until he talked me into talking on the phone. Chuck became my friend, I enjoyed chatting online with him, I thought he was funny, and we bantered back and forth it seemed without missing a beat. I finally agreed to meet him in person, and that in-turn wrote the rest of the story. : evil: In the end I meet him in person in July 1998, at that time I wasn’t sure it was more than a friendship, he actually spent another month convincing me to go out with him again. The second time was the charm, from then on we actually dated. By October he asked me to marry him, in November we became engaged officially.

How old is he?

Today my boy-toy is 38 years old, getting closer to the big 4-0 every year Sad thing is the closer he gets to that big 4-0 I get to the big 5-0 – the problem with being older then the man of my dreams is I am always older than him

Who eats more sweets?

Now that is a tossup, it totally depends on who has the sweet tooth that day. Chuck will periodically have a candy bar, but his sweet tooth lies in pastries. You can catch that man with some homemade muffins, cakes, pies, and/or cookies anytime; I haven’t talked about dragging him past the Krispy Kreme donut stands. Unfortunately his sweet tooth and mine are the same, I also love pastries, and homemade baked goods; thank goodness I don’t make them too often – there is a reason I don’t! I have one added sweet, mine is ice cream – hmmmm.

Who said I love you first?

Oh he did I knew he was going to say it before he did too First he left me a note, actually a sweet card in my car, in that card he said he had something to tell me, that he didn’t know how I’d react or feel about it, but he had to tell me. He had actually already told me he loved me with all his actions, long before he spoke the words.

Who is taller?

Well he is at 6′3″ and me at 5′7″ – and I always thought the man of my dreams should be taller. I mean there was a time in my life that I loved wearing 3″ heels, short skirts, and showing off my once great legs.

Who can sing better?

I would say neither of us although we are both singing stars within our own privacy. Chuck is also a wonderful drummer when he sings.

Who does the laundry?

I’m sorry I find this about as funny as Andy did at the Creative Junkie; how many men do the laundry Actually when I worked outside the house at a real job he helped with the laundry, it was much more a 50/50 job.

Who sleeps on the right side of the bed?

Right now I sleep on the right side of the bed. Is there something special about sleeping on the right side of the bed? I am only sleeping on the right side because it is the side closer to the bathroom see I often need to pee in the middle of the night, unlike my husband. So personally I don’t care about the direction of the side of the bed, it is just ‘where is the bathroom’.

Who mows the lawn?

Will it use to be those things we call teenagers in our home, but since the middle daughter got a real job this last summer, we lost our slave lawn mowing labor. It turned out that I mowed the yard more than anyone this summer, which I felt okay about. Since Chuck works everyday to keep us in this lifestyle <hmmm can we call it a lifestyle?>, I figure the least I can do is make his life a little easier with my daily free-time he has provided for me. Actually is pretty peaceful to mow our yard, it is several acres, so I grab my MP3 player, fire up the ole John Deer, and ride – here is another place that I am a singing star Thank goodness neighbors can’t see or hear me :embrass:

Who cooks dinner?

Me, me, and me Actually it is a joke in our house, when it is Chuck’s turn to cook we know we are going out for dinner. He can cook on a grill too – he has turned into the typical man when it comes to cooking! What is amazing is before our marriage he actually cooked! And even when I worked he took turns with me in the kitchen!

Who pays the bills?

Will he earns the money so I spend the money right, that is the way I always heard it should be Actually I pay the bills, when went to a real job every day I was the head of accounting & finance departments, therefore have a better understanding of those things called budgets, credit reports, and due dates. Just ask him about that due date thing, he kept getting them mixed up – then there was the money due the State of Wisconsin because he didn’t understand the guidelines of filing as ‘head of household’ on your taxes.

Who drives?

He does, just don’t mind my white knuckles holding onto the dash and door handle. Actually he does a good job driving, it is just faster than my driving. I give Chuck crap because recently he has had a couple of wrecks (one with a deer, the other with high water), but reviewing my record with his, he is a better driver. In the past I’ve gotten numerous speeding tickets, along with several wrecks; but my in the last 15 years my driving record has been pretty clean!

Who is more stubborn?

He is – absolutely, with no doubt! I believe even he would agree with that one; except when it comes to the kids. He does compromise on issues with the kids, only because I can get pretty damn stubborn too!

Who kissed who first?

It was a joint lean in, lips meeting kiss. We both knew that is what we wanted, it was pretty even on who started it. And of course I remember where, when, the look on his face, the smile on his lips, the gleam in his eyes.

Who asked who out first?

That one is really hard since we were talking online already, but I would definitely say him. He kept bugging me about meeting, but in the end I think he was surprised when I said ‘how about we have that meeting’

Who proposed?

He proposed – both times He proposed before we went looking for rings, but that was more ‘how about we get married’ sort of thing. I thought it was so incredibly sweet that he wanted me to have a formal proposal though. Originally he had planned dinner, roses, the whole romantic picture for the proposal; but with his usual luck a few days before his big plans he realized he would be asking me on Friday the 13^th So that we didn’t do the proposal on the 13^th I got a small dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant on Thursday the 12^th, where he got down on one knee in front of the entire restaurant to propose. I thought he might lose it when the people and staff in the restaurant realized what was happening, and a crowd drew around us.

Who has more siblings?

Seriously I’m not sure who does! I would beg to guess it is me, I think his father only fathered one other child. My father on the other hand had me, my full-brother (who died when we were teens), another daughter supposedly with a woman he had a one-time thing with; then in his 3^rd marriage he adopted her son plus they had a set of twin girls (these twin girls are about 2 years older than my Taylor). See my dad likes to spread his genes out, I know Chuck’s does too, just doesn’t appear his took as well with all the woman

Who wears the pants?

That really depends on the topic at hand, as we trade those pair of pants

Now that was long! I have homework (from my lapse of thinking I wanted a college degree, now questioning myself) that I have procrastinated in the worst way that I must complete!

All my life I have fought certain types of addiction. Some in my family had a love affair with alcohol, and yet others had their affair with prescription drugs. With addicts is a certain type of behavior, I call it the compulsive behavior, that desire to do something to extremes. Although my addictions have never been illegal items, nor items like gambling, my addictions still affect everyone in my family on different levels. Because of these compulsive habits I have a hard time staying focus long-term on one thing, I have trouble balancing my life. I’ve learned to force myself to stop certain items when I find my behavior extreme compulsive, generally I found I lost balance because my family has started nagging me :grin:. Right now my addiction is games I like playing online games, I belong to Shockwave where for approximately $5 per month I get to download and play a variety of games whenever and however much I please.

My game addiction has actually been around for several years, pretty much since I started being a stay-at-home mom and wife. I’m not sure why but the games offer me a kind of mind numbing entertaining time. I turn on the television, but unless it is a good movie during the daytime there really isn’t anything on I want to watch. At night I play games because everyone else picks a television in the house, unfortunately they enjoy watching items I don’t. My youngest is 9 years old, loves watch the Disney station and Nick, there is only so much Sponge Bob one can take. Another television is taken usually by the now 18 year old, she likes to watch things like Rob & Big, The Real Life, and The Hills, all television that belongs to the teens. Now my husband and I have some shows we enjoy watching together, then there are those shows he enjoys that I don’t like everything on the Military channel. So what has transpired is that they watch television while I play games on my computer, I get to spend time in some way with them because my computer is in the front room with the main television (for another week or so at least). I do go through times were I am not as interested in playing my silly computer games, then I am compulsive about a sewing project, digital scrapping I want to get done, or a remodeling project. The crazy thing about me is that I generally do something compulsively, spending hours doing it with all my gusto, then the motivation dies, and the project and/or item sits until I drum up interest again! When I am in-between gusto on projects again I always have my computer games

I also find my computer games when life is brothering me, when I am tired of thinking about issues, problems, and items that include raising teenagers. For some reason my computer games offer me that sweet comfort, not requiring any real demands on me, only the chance to conquer them, because of course I want to win! I like winning, my kids tease me about the enjoyment of the game not the winning of the game, but I must find the strategy to win the game! Is that saying something also about my addition, is it something I know I can win at when I feel I am losing at other things? Now that might be consideration! My favorite games are action/strategy games along with word type games. In the concept of winning it does make sense that I play to win, to conquer, as once I’ve won the game it is rare I will ever play that game again! An example is all the Diner Dash games, I enjoyed playing them all, even got expert on the majority of them, but once I won the game I was done with the game. Once I am done with a game I am on a search for another good game that needs my attention to win! I’d actually spend more time playing PlayStation games if I had a television available to actually play, but then again the games to me aren’t as much fun as the computer games I do like most the racing games, especially liked the Underground series of games for PlayStation.

Maybe someday I will consider more about my addiction to games – I never had this addition until being a stay-at-home mom – don’t tell me it is boredom because I have plenty to do! I do have other addictions you know

In my life, my small little world very little personally was happening. In January 1962 my teenage parents had married, in July 1962 I appeared on the scene! Therefore anyone that can do math realizes that I was a child conceived out wedlock, but born in wedlock. Personally born in and or conceived wedlock is irrelevant to the love between the parents. Problem with my parents is they were teenagers! I was born in the summer between mom’s junior and senior year of high school, at least my father had graduated from high school about 6 weeks before I was born. My life started with my parents and myself living with my grandparents (my dad’s folks). For those interested in I was born in Kansas, a small town at the time outside of Kansas City.

Here I am as a new born, cute huh? Aren’t all newborns cute though, I think they are! You can see how young my mom is. They didn’t have a camera so they went to one of those film booths of the time where you got 4 pictures for a quarter or something like that.

Famous people that share my year of birth are:
Jim Carrey; Clint Black; Jennifer Jason Leigh; Garth Brooks; Lou Diamond Phillips; Adam Baldwin; Jon Bon Jovi; Emilio Estevez; Ally Sheedy; Tom Cruise; Brigitte Nielsen; Wesley Snipes; Melissa Sue Anderson; Joan Cusack; Evander Holyfield; Ralph Macchio; Demi Moore; Jodie Foster; Paula Abdul; Matthew Broderick; Sheryl Crow; Kelly Preston;

According to Chinese astrology I was born in the year of the Tiger:
Tiger people are difficult to resist, for they are magnetic characters and their natural air of authority confers a certain prestige on them. They are tempestuous yet calm, warm-hearted yet fearsome, courageous in the face of danger yet yielding, soft and mysterious. They enjoy a life full of challenges and unexpected events, like visiting unusual places and meeting interesting or outstanding people. Other people in their area are easily attracted by the tiger’s enthusiasm and way of life. Tigers find pleasure in the unpredictable, and while other people would rather make a backward step, they are not afraid to explore the new and unusual. But it is not that simple to interest the Tiger. What they really need is first-hand experience. Usually open and frank, these people are likely to withdraw and can be aggressive when trapped. As soon as the Tiger has regained their sense of security their confidence also returns, enabling them to set out once more. These people usually tend to trust their instincts, though there is another side of their personality, which assesses situations thoughtfully before they launch any actions. Their friends usually secretly admire their determination and optimism, though sometimes may find it complicated to share the Tiger’s enthusiasm and can be pushed away and left behind. Although Tigers can be courageous and generous friends, if they are not able to achieve what they want, they can be inflexible and self-centered. So if your friend was born in the year of the Tiger, there will be highs and lows in your friendship, but the friendship itself will remain firm. Ideal jobs for tigers include entrepreneur, military officer, politician, musician, writer, poet, artist, theater director, biological and environmental engineer, stockbroker, athlete, film star, trade union leader, company director, stunt person, explorer, and lawyer. Love interests for the Tiger are the Dog and Horse.

On Regular Astrology my Sun sign is Cancer the Crab:
Sun in Cancer natives have a strong survival instinct. They are protective of those they care about, and of themselves too. They are often quite reticent about sharing their inner selves to the rest of the world, and are often caught up in reminisce. Cancers have a reputation for moodiness, although this trait is most evident when the Moon is in Cancer. Cancer needs roots. They resist change to an extent, and concern themselves about being secure and safe in most everything they do. Cancers can be quite intrigued by objects with history attached to them — antiques, photos, souvenirs, and the like. Cancer is a very sensitive sign, and they don’t always appreciate it when you are blunt with them. Their reactions to hurt will depend on how thick a shell they have developed. Most Cancers react by withdrawing or retreating. Some have developed an ability to manipulate others to get what they want. They avoid direct confrontations almost as a rule. Cancers are, in fact, quite yielding and soft when you have them in the right mood. They are one of the more hospitable signs of the zodiac. Sure, they can be touchy and indirect, but they are also very dependable, caring souls.

Probably more about people born in 1962 then one wants to know, but I just so wanted to share as much as possible.

1962 was the beginning phases turbulent and decidedly moving years within the American history books.

The movement of the Vietnam war sucking the US this policing action. The US had set up military assistance in South Vietnam. U.S. troops were in Vietnam with the pretense of providing training and technical assistance. U.S. pilots were flying combat missions in Vietnam, unknown to the American public.

The US was in full swing with NASA heading toward the moon. Lieut. Col. John Glenn orbited the earth 3 times in space capsule Friendship 7, becoming the 1st American in orbit. Television beamed his flight to 135 million Americans. Glenn’s Mercury 6 mission is followed by two other Mercury flights. Ranger IV first U.S. space probe to reach the moon, where it crash lands by design. The American public was enthralled with the space travel, only imagining that we would be walking on the moon a few years later.

Telstar becomes the first communications satellite intended for regular service; relays television signals between North America and Europe

Marilyn Monroe was found dead in her Los Angles home in 1962, ending a blond bomb-shells era in history. Marilyn Monroe’s death opened an entire box of parody with the government, the CIA, and the Kennedy’s within the following years.

The Cold War continued to worsen when the Russians placed Missiles in Cuba miles away from the coast of Florida. Kennedy threatened war unless they were removed which they were but for a short time the world was on the brink of nuclear war and self destruction. This was part of the height of the Cold War between the US, Russia, and Cuba. A U.S. embargo ordered by President Kennedy goes into effect on all imports from Cuba including tobacco, seafood, fruits and vegetables.

On other notes of society our president was John F. Kennedy, the great hope of the young American population.

The first Wal-Mart discount store is opened in Bentonville Arkansas; The first Kmart department store opens in Garden City, Michigan.

Oral Polio Vaccine developed by Albert Sabin given to millions of children to combat Polio.

By a vote of 6 to 1, the Supreme court bans prayer in public schools

What about the costs in 1962? Average Cost of new house $12,500.00; Average Income per year $5,556.00: Average monthly rent $110.00 per month; Average Cost of a new car $3,125.00; Eggs per dozen 32 cents; Gas per Gallon 28 cents; Minimum hourly wage $1.25; Pack of chewing gum .05¢; Candy bar .05¢; Ice cream bar .15¢; Soft drink .10¢; Fast food hamburger .20¢; 1st class postage stamp .04¢; Pay phone (local call) .10¢; TV set $400; Daily newspaper .10¢; Refrigerator $500; Tennis shoes $5.00; Doctors office visit $5; Movie ticket .50¢; Popcorn at the movie.20¢; 45 rpm record $1.00; Record album $3.00

With each year of my flashback on movies & music I generally will only give one song, unless is was a special year for me Although it was the year of my birth, in many ways 1962 isn’t that special because I simply don’t remember it

The music of 1962 is Johnny Angel by Shelly Fabares.

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Of course there were many other songs of similar style for that era, and I could list even give you preview of many more that I own. Personally though of the list this is one of my more favorite from the year. Some of the other songs of the year were: Blowin’ in the Wind, Go Away Little Girl, Days of Wine and Roses, The Loco-Motion, Sherry, Monster Mash, Big Girls Don’t Cry.

Movies that year contained several real hits. How about What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? with Bette Davis & Joan Crawford.

I am sure many of heard of To Kill a Mockingbird with Gregory Peck.

Maybe your memory is all about Elvis, at this point is making movies and singing. In 1962 his movie was Girls! Girls! Girls!

Another classic movie from the year is The Miracle Worker starring Patty Duke and Anne Bancroft. In this clip you can see how utterly young Patty Duke is. I actually remember watching this film in a class sometime in high school.

My final movie flashback in The Birdman of Alcatraz starring Burt Lancaster.

Now I picked these particular movies because they are movies I actually like from my birth year! I have seen all these movies more than once much to the shame of my children who can’t understand who watches movies in black & white! It just amazes them that color was not available when I was born - that makes me so utterly old in their eyes

Of course I can’t forget the television where the popular shows where: I’ve Got a Secret, Beverly Hillbillies, Route 66, The Flinstones, Price is Right, Ben Casey, The Dick Van Dyke show. But alas television was not on 24/7 in 1962, and reruns hadn’t caught on yet. 90% of US households own a Television Set

Maybe a book would be better to pick up: Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? by Edward Albee; Letting Go by Philip Roth; Travels with Charley by John Steinbeck; One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey; The Thin Red Line by James Jones; Happiness is a Warm Puppy by Charles Schultz

Does anyone else have ideas rumbling around their mind about items to discuss and post, but when sitting down to write all the rumbling ideas seem to run off into some long distance recess of a foggy brain? I have fabulous ideas to write about while I’m doing a hundred other things during the day, but put me in front of the keyboard my mind appears to take an immediate vacation. I’m hoping that my recent idea of flashbacks, looking at the past of what got me to here will help keep the flow of my thoughts together! I never thought of myself as scatter-brained but maybe it is a consideration I refuse to even consider it is an age factor. I am hoping to write daily about things within my life, but since I do go to college and have a family other travesties within my life can take priority. I want to look at a year at a time, but separate reviews of each. This is the outline I hope to follow:

Society in the Year, Music & Movies in the Year, Family in the year, Life in the year, Overview of the year

Of course all these in the years will be from my perspective because it is my reflections, reflections of my life. With my reflections will come my views, my opinions, how I seen life as I got to this point. I’m sure my point of life, my reflections of the fallacies of life will not be written as funny and humorous as the Creative Junkie. If you every really want to read life with a hoot you should read the reflections of her life! Check back, keep in touch, and I’ll start the posting.