Another Brick In The Wall

I recently heard from an Aunt, this Aunt is in that category as one of my favorites when I was growing up. I rarely hear from family on my side, we have broken up so much, moved around the United States, and simply lost track of each other within life itself. The particular Aunt is the only one who had kids my age, but I don’t hear much from my cousins either. Don’t get me wrong I’m not upset, I find that life today is so different than that of our grandfathers’, therefore families are so different, almost separated.

I wanted to point out that this Auntie left a comment regarding my post on family life, she wanted me to know that she thinks my father really loved my mother as he was devastated when she died in 1970. The items I wrote about in that particular post was not my memories in reality since at that point I was too young to understand their dating habits, or concepts of what to do about a teen pregnancy. The part about having more than one girl friend complete with 2 class rings was direct from my father. He shared the information with me when I got older, why would he share this information I’m not sure. This information does make you think about his intentions with my mother when he was dating her. As for his not wanting to get married, not wanting to raise a child, that information was shared on several levels. My grandfather, my father’s dad, shared his frustration and anger at my father during that time, talking him into handling his responsibility. My grandmother, my mother’s mom, pretty much shared a very similar story, about my mother crying not sure what to do, that my dad did not originally want to marry her. It was my mother’s mom that went to talk to my father’s dad about the situation; it was these two adults that decided what was best for these kids. More of this was backed up with another Aunt from my mothers’ side of the family, the one she talked to after she found out she was pregnant, the one she had plans to live with during the pregnancy, the one that helped her look at some adoptive families. According to this Aunt there was a lawyer and his wife that were very interested that my mother had talked to about placing me with them. On a final note my own father told me on numerous occasions he had no intention of marrying her, and he in no way wanted to raise a child.

Now for my Auntie’s comment, sure after 8 years of marriage I think he did love her when she died, at least in his capacity of love. I will share with Auntie though it had become an extremely turbulent marriage, because at that point I do remember all the fighting, screaming, etc as my brother and I sat outside the locked bedroom door crying. I think my father was smart enough on one side to realize this was a woman that was better than him on many levels, he even use to share that information openly. Would their marriage have stood the test of time? From my perspective, no it wouldn’t have. It held all the signs of a teen failed marriage; you had to see the rest of the picture….. and his infidelities … Auntie did you know I have a half sister somewhere out there about 2 years older than me according to dad. So if he loved her, it wasn’t the true committed love that should have been about marriage.

Here I am listening to the radio, via online. I love Radio Time, I find stations from around the world that can follow any of my moods for the day. Today is a fine example of a usual day on the radio via the internet for me. I start my day with a little Wall Street News, a little depression over stocks, the failing corporations (I told people this was going to happen back when de-regulation, and Reganomics were the issues); once that is depressing enough I like a little Dr. Laura; after Dr. Laura I switch between Rush Limbaugh and Bill O’Reily’s Radio Factor. I suppose one can tell from that daytime talk radio I am a staunch conservative! Alas though lately I have been rounding my radio listen with the oldies music! This station is based out of Kansas City, when I lived there this station was strictly oldies, full of 50’s and 60’s music – but now KCMO 94.9 isn’t just those oldies but my music. The music I cried to as teen, kissed boys under the moonlight with, dreamed in my bedroom, and sang to in my car; it is being played on this oldies station I feel ancient now! When did the music that played on my car when I was young turn into oldies, just say it ain’t so please! Tell me it really is just a bad dream! No It isn’t a bad dream, because I look into the mirror to see this grey haired middle-aged woman staring back at me, but upon closer inspection it truly is myself.

Oh ironic it is that as I lived those teen years with laughter, tears, and wild abandonment never did I truly believe they would end or that I would one day turn old. Even when I had my babies I never truly saw myself old, I saw them growing up in my minds eye, but never me getting older.

So … how about it for those oldies …. Here are some that I’ve listen to tonight ….

Bettie Davies Eyes by Kim Karnes … oh my party day!

I Love You Way by Peter Frampton … oh I remember this sitting in my room looking forward to turning 18 someday

A Heartache by Bonnie Tyler … it was another party day song, and love was wild at that time because I had no intention of being married I just loved guys

Dance with me by Orleans … that was another wishful dreaming song …

Hit me with your best shot by Pat Benatar …. Yep and another shot for the house, were those Watermelon shots

Gensis, Journey ….. I still remember all the words to these songs!

There is so much music from that time from my dance party music to my Zepplin, Floyd, little AC/DC, maybe some Sabbath … those were my songs … and we rode it right into some Whip It good! Music boppin the head, big hair, tearing up those dance floors with live bands, playing quarters with beers all around — when you could drink beer at 18 legally! When love was always around the corner for at least one night .. if he was cute (sometimes they got cuter as the beers came coming … the time before HIV and AIDS. There are days I listen to the music and wistfully miss those days. The days I never thought of wrinkles, bills, retirement, and politics … it was about the next night out, who was driving, where to go, and what to wear … oh don’t forget the hair!

I think I’ll sing …. Dream … and remember those carefree days …

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So let me review my ramblings, rants and raves today, let me start with the news.

Definitely not a rave, because this article just saddens me. It sounds as if an argument escalated into someone’s death. What happened to agreeing to disagree? When did we decide that everyone should be justified? And when did people decide that guns would solve problems?

South Carolina Mall Shooting Leaves 1 Dead, 1 Injured

Should we talk about more bad behavior? The following is another article for my rants column on this post. This woman exercises bad behavior on a flight, it appears other people place the blame on alcohol as she was drinking heavily prior to the flight. Personally drinking or not bad behavior belongs to the person that has no manors. This is world with an ever increasing population, with that manors should be playing a larger role in society not less as they appear to be. Isn’t it sad that someone would be restrained with duct tape on a flight because their behavior was so nasty?

Flight Diverted After Crew Restrains Unruly Passenger With Tape

This article is a rant and a rave all rolled into one! A gentleman in Missouri has been found guilty of hitting a construction worker with his car through a construction zone. It appears that the jury suggested 7 years for this drunken driver, too short if you want my opinion. I find this article a rave because YES he is going to prison for killing someone, but a rant because 7 years does not equal the life he took. I believe that he should get more time in prison, this guy was drunk when he decided – chose to get behind the wheel of a car – did the young college student get any choices? This should fall under a manslaughter charge smacked with at least 15 years.

Missouri Driver Convicted of Hitting and Killing Construction Worker With Car

The next article is more about judges that over-turn juries because they think the juries didn’t understand. I am really getting annoyed with these judges. Juries are people that have given their time for a duty for their country, they listen to all the information to make a decision in a case – and in cases like this for what? The smacks of a judge that feels the average person is too stupid to understand the decision they made about the law. I personally think too many judges are over stepping their boundary of presiding over cases, they are wanting to be the jury too.

Florida Judge Tosses Weapons Verdict in ‘Joe Cool’ Boat Slayings

What can I say about the next article? This is another teen who thought that he had some sort of rights in his mother’s home, that he became so enraged to stab her is vile. I blame the media, the left wing conservatives, and of course many parents for the problems with our teens these days. I remember when mine were young that other adults wanted to call the kids little people, like they were mini-adults with choices and decisions. I always corrected people, these are children, not little adults, they should be taught respect to other adults, to their parents, teachers, etc. There is a time for an opinion and a time to just get over yourself and deal with the situation.

Police: Idaho Teen Stabbed Mother Over MySpace Dispute

This article is just plain funny This guy steals women’s panties, he did have some assistance from a female accomplice. So what did they plan to do with all those panties? Did they have big plans to resale these and make money? Maybe the panties were for the female accomplice, his idea of getting her something sexy. In the end it is still theft which is just morally wrong – no matter what is being stolen.

Man Steals More Than 130 Panties From Dallas Victoria’s Secret

This article is from a nearby local paper. This 22 year old kid is getting the book slammed at him for manufacturing meth, the system has added another 8 years on top of his already 15 year sentence. Some real quick math shows that this guy gets 23 years for manufacturing meth – but go back to my article on the Missouri driver that killed the 22 year old college student. The guy that killed the construction worker / college kid gets 7 years and this guy gets 23 years without killing anyone directly? Hmm I am confused on the sentencing for drugs versus a person’s life. Don’t get me wrong the guy deserves prison, but the other guy that killed someone deserves a sentence more fitting the crime.

Towell sentenced to eight additional years in prison on drug charges

On a political note I was glad the election phase was over so I’d quit hearing all the bull passed around. Alas though now the Obama has been elected the bull keeps on coming across the news. The Indy Star wants to talk about how Obama won, and how he won the State of Indiana. Mostly he won the State of Indiana because we have plenty of not-so-brights living in this state. I seen my home state of Kansas was red, see those with real moral values live in the central plains states. I have seen more claims by the media that Obama brought out the black voters because they were tired of Bush. Personally I think that is lots of crap! The black voter came out because there was a black man running for office. I think this election was more about setting a piece of history than it was about the facts and where Obama stood. I still think it is ironic that Obama is only half-black with a strong white family raising him (remember his black father left the family when he was at a young age) that everyone is totting him as the great black man. I truly think the black voters will be disappointed with Obama in a few years as his white up-bringing shines through. I also thought is was interesting in another article I read that Obama is not truly the first black man in office. We have had several that were part black, with black heritage and/or linage similar to Obama’s. It appears simply that these men passed themselves as white same as Obama passing himself as black – because they looked the part. I seriously worry about where Obama will take us in the next 4 years.

Why Indiana turned blue

Then I can’t let the Prop 8 issue drop, after all the homosexual community can’t take the voted failure they received. This is another reason I am sick of the homosexual community, they lost in a popular vote, the state constitution will state that a marriage is between a man and a woman, period. The homosexual community has already started filing all their legal bull trying to get this religious item (marriage was created from the religious sector) changed to fit their needs, trying to force a religious item to go against the religious principles. Maybe the homosexual community should be more creative and come up with their own type of union, having the drive add that to the choices instead forcing others to change their choice. The homosexual are claiming this is a civil rights issue – sorry don’t see it. Homosexual have made a choice in how they chose to live how does this follow any civil right? What about my rights? The right not to have their crap taught in my schools, to my kids? If I can’t talk about the birth of Christ in school then why does this left wing radical group get books about the King & the King read in schools? They talk about letting the children learn and decide, but it is a one sided teaching now.

Proposition 8 foes rush to file papers with court

Today I have said more than enough, and appears to be rants than raves in the news today. My raves today – I’m enjoying some Billy Joel on the computer, listening to his music that has followed me for many years. My youngest daughter is home sick today, I need to call the doctor because it appears she has strep throat. My darling hubby is still on vacation today, so besides sleeping (did another night with the Sheriff’s dept last night), we get some more family time with him. Actually since my darling is a telecommuter working from home every day we get more of his smiling face than other families probably do of their husband/dad. It is amazing that after 10 years of marriage I still love spending time with him, and since I don’t work I spend an extraordinary amount of time with him, day in and day out 24/7. He is still my best friend, and I never tire of talking to him. Remember the good things in life, and love always. Heck I still love my two older daughters, I simply don’t understand where they are in their lives right now. As their mother all I can do is pray for God to watch over them, to guide them back, and for the angels to keep them safe as they journey through these lessons of life. I heard this song the other day that so reminded me of my daughters. So listen, enjoy, and blessing until next time!

If you read my post about my life in 1962 then you’ve read that my family started with my teenage parents. My mom had turned 17 just two days before I was born, my dad at the time was 19; mom still had to finish her senior year in high school after the summer of my birth, my dad had graduated in May of 1962. As young kids still figuring out life they lived with my grandparents when I was born, that would be my dad’s parents. I could explain that initially my mom didn’t have intentions on marry my father nor on raising me. My mother was a straight A student, a National Honor Society student, supposedly with a scholarship to college. Do I believe she loved my father? I do believe she loved with the mindset of a 16 year old child, not that of an adult. She was idealistic as to who she was really marrying, and what was to truly be expected.

My father was another story.  This man originally had no intentions of marrying my mother, my mother was one a his girl friends, not the only girl friend. My father was what my kids call ‘a player’. He was a player to the extent that he actually had more than one class ring. In those days the having of a guy’s class ring meant the permanency of going study, that step before engagement. With that concept you would believe would be monogamy but not for my father, he saw it as opportunity. If a girl thought you cared enough to give her your class ring than he could probably get them to put out. Obviously it worked with my mother or I wouldn’t be here, concieved in the back of my grandfather’s car.

My folks were married with the blessing of a shotgun. It was my grandfather that drug his son up to the alter, or the justice of the peace ‘to do the right thing’. My father was forced to marry my mother, it was a case of the adults deciding what was best for these kids when they both made adult decisions to begin with. I truly feel the biggest mistake for everyone’s life was the choices made for these kids. My heart breaks when I think of the lives that ended up sacfriced in this case.

I’ll touch on more as I try to get through the years

Today’s raves, rants, and ramblings

Rave – Prop 8 appears to be passing, meaning in California the laws will be changed regarding marriage, in that it will require a man and a woman to be truly a married couple when obtaining a license!

Rant – Obama won the Presidency, I didn’t need a democrat to make my government bigger, to allow people to not take personal responsibility some more because the big (soon to be bigger by Obama) government will fix everything for them (remember it was the democrats many moons ago that gave us welfare, unemployment, social security, etc – all those bleeding, sucking government programs that allow the lazy to get lazier).

Rave – I love best friends, especially that one best friend since we were 20 – that would be 26 years of friendship! That she has been my best friend longer than I’ve had any kid, any spouse, any house, geez just about anything in my life to date!

Rant - I seen a mother dropping her high school daughter off at school today, that girl was wearing pajama pants to school! I have never seen this as appropriate attire for school, appears simply lazy. Has this mother thought about what she is teaching this child? Is this child going to be able to wear pajamas to work when she gets older? Who knows though, as our morals drop so do our values, therefore maybe this will someday be allowed in the workforce.

Rave – Thinking about my husband this morning as I woke him up after only 2 hours of sleep so he could appear in court. Here is a man that fought in the Gulf War, who earns a regular paycheck, then volunteers his time to be a Sheriff’s Deputy. For him it is the job of love, enforcing our laws, trying to put a dent in crime. He is on vacation from the regular job this week, so in turn decided to put in some extra time with the Sheriff’s department. He was on all last night only to learn he had to appear in court today because some derelict wants to contest a ticket. A ticket he received for driving while his license was suspended, now how can you contest that? I guess that part could go into the rant column!

Rant – That a child could be sent home from school for wearing a Jesus Christ Halloween costume (http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,445904,00.html ) yet it is okay to wear vampires, devils, grim reaper, and other death embedded costumes.

Rave – That my oldest daughter actually does think about politics, has an opinion, and cares about political issues. I am happy that she has an actual vision of politics, what they mean to her, and how the choices of the politicians impact our lives.

Rant – That I sent that same 21 year old daughter this article, Born Gay or a Basher, No Excuse (http://americansfortruth.com/news/born-gay-or-a-gay-basher-no-excuse.html ). The idea behind the article for me is 1) how can homosexuality be passed on genetically if gay couples can’t produce children? Seriously all the scientist in the world can’t explain that one to me, in that how a homosexual gene is passed on when they don’t physically reproduce. By this concept of genetics homosexuality should be gone in a few years because if they aren’t reproducing in offspring then there will not be anymore. Number 2) is the moral fiber and the justification of something that is wrong. When does one decide that justification of a wrong act makes the act right, in my definition it is still wrong. As the article states, there are those that want to justify that it is okay for men to love boys, should we justify adults having sex with children? Is that not wrong? So how does one justify that homosexuality is okay? Not once did she touch on any of these subjects, no she went on about the twin’s study.

Now for my ramblings:

The news depresses me, I need to touch on the rants with so many news articles. I have homework to do, I have a house that needs vacuuming (my deal that sweeping and vacuuming happens twice per week since we have animals), I can’t find the desk or table I want for my sewing machine and serger for work areas. I also wanted a decent stand for the printer to be on, with door underneath to hid things like pens, pencils, paper, etc that the kids and I use when doing school work. Oh and let me say I love being able to download DRM free music from Amazon! I had an urge for some of my old music from those high school years – this week I down loaded Stevie Nick’s Bella Donna, Wing’s London Town, and Wing’s Speed of Sound. I have several of my high school year artists in greatest hits, but the greatest hits doesn’t give me all those songs from the old LP’s I use to listen too. Face it, when I listened to the old LP’s way back then, I couldn’t skip to the next song, so many of my LP’s I learned to love all the other songs they contained. I can listen to those old songs remember sitting on my bedroom floor, dreaming of the years after high school

Remember the good things in life!